Baptism

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. Romans 6:4

Yesterday I was baptised! What an amazing day! I was so nervous in the morning, in fact for the days leading up to it, preparing my testimony, making sure my family were going to make it to my house in time, asking people to be my sponsors... but the final thing was great. In the morning, Isabelle and I went out for a walk, and then when we came back, I nipped to the shops, where I managed to buy lots of stuff without meaning to, but also invested in cake and sandwich fillings. As Isabelle was working, I made two big plates of sandwiches, because Barbara, Nanna, Neil and Matthew were expecting tea, as in afternoon tea, and cake. By the time I made myself look decent, dressed in my outfit, I was pacing, while watching the repeat of Ugly Betty, waiting for them all to arrive.

And they did! Bearing gifts! Of course, Dad didn't come but he did send a card, on the occasion of my baptism. A lovely mother of pearl tear from Barbara, and little photo frames. Very cool. And pretty. By the time we'd all scoffed sarnies, cake, and cups of tea, been to the loo, it was time to get them all to the church.

A longer walk than I'd thought about for my Nanna, of course. Poor thing, Neil and Barbara practically hauled her there by the crooks of their arms. The guys all got comfy while I went to the loo with nerves, was shown the baptism pool, and the group of getting baptised had a 'prayer huddle'. Neil, Barbara and Matthew mooched around a bit. Slowly the church filled up, my friends started arriving, and sat in a bit of a group together (although I had to move Amy, who was trying to sit as close to the exit as possible, as if she needed to escape, although to be fair, she was going to need to leave early, although so did my folks!!). People gave me cards, and came up to say hello, I made sure all my praying people were poised, and also Isabelle volunteered to be my changing partner.

It was fab, the service brilliant, great worship, and a good sermon from Charlie. I was really enjoying watching my family react to the music, and the prayers, really enjoying Matthew's awed face at the cool worship leader, Martin, and Nanna holding her hands out, and Barbara explaining to Matthew why people do that. It was even wonderful to see Neil bowing his head with his eyes closed, when we prayed. I was starting to get nervous, especially when we all made our vows. It was the idea of giving the testimony, though, standing up infront of everyone that made me nervous. But soon it came. We made our vows, and then there were two people before me, each giving their testimony and then being baptised. Barbara was worried I would have no one to pray for me, I explained that I had already organised my sponsors. Then it was my turn.

I was reading from a piece of paper, so I didn't really look out, so I didn't get to see my friends' reactions, but I could hear the wobble in my voice, but I tried not to read too fast, and to put the right emphases in. Being a bit of a writer, I knew that I was giving a bit of a polished performance reading from that page, and I'd already done it on Wednesday. But I could hear Gordon, the vicar, in the pool behind me, saying "Amen!" and laughing at my testimony, in fact, I think I got a laugh from the church! Then, Helen took the mic from me, and took my piece of paper, too, I got into the pool. It was cold and wet - much wetter I expected, stupidly, I forgot how clothes seep up the wetness! Then Gordon baptised me, and I went under the water. I closed my eyes, now I wish I'd opened them, and I held my nose, but that was ok. When I emerged, I was laughing and crying all at once, and I looked up to see a wall of faces looming over me: Nick and Josie, Josie holding a towel like a bullfighter, Lance, Isabelle, Tamsin. Fantastic. I think I said 'yes! yes!'

Then getting changed... when I got back, I was out of my sopping jeans and polo neck and into a pretty dress (the same dress I'm wearing today, actually, got purple, grey and yellow flowers on it) and watched the final baptism, Andreas, the Polish guy from our class. Then, there was singing, and prayer, and my family had to go, but that was okay. We had more singing, and then Gordon made us go up on the stage again, to be welcomed into the church officially. And then we said the prayer out of the back of "Why Jesus" by Nicky Gumbel, the prayer I said not even a year ago, and there were people there praying it for the first time. More worship ensued, with Gordon saying he wanted to dance, and so we danced at the front, and I flung my arms out wide to God, because I was so excited and so in love with him. Lance took pictures of me dancing.

My friends all had to go, it was really late, but Aileen said this was how church should be, and Charlie wants to come along, it's just like her mum's church, she said, but much bigger. I got so many hugs, and then Checky and Emma came along for the party in the parish centre. Isabelle was going and I needed a lift home, but also, I would have been too high to go home immediately.

This morning, I felt different, I felt as close to God as the day after I said that prayer. And I also felt something today that I'd not felt before; a real need to distance myself from people who aren't good for me. I got the loveliest email from Neil, written on his journey home to London from Oxford, and it really made me so pleased that he and Matthew came and were witnesses to what the living God can do. Making that commitment really has made a different. It's amazing. He's amazing.