Being absolutely rubbish

Argh, argh, argh. I haven't written a single word of those sample chapters and now the fear has taken over me like some wee beastrel. Nooooo.... spent all day doing nothing, instead. Well, not nothing. Watched Pride and Prejudice with Isa. Watched Children of Men. Watched interviews with JK Rowling on the Leaky Cauldron website. Re-read the last few chapters of Harry Potter with tears dripping down my nose. At cream cakes. Sulked. Felt a bit sick and airless, got that Sunday feeling, even though the sun shone and I even managed to mend all the split seams in my jeans and do all my washing and dry it (can't take responsibility for the evaporation, though, that was all the doing of the sun and the wind).

Argh argh argh. Am a very bad writer, though. I should have leapt to work on the samples, but instead, am frozen by the fact I said I'd do it, by wanting not to fuck this one up. Incidentally, I notice, somewhat pleasingly, somewhat sadly, that the number of blog posts per month has never been as high as January, at A Hopeful Romantic's conception. But that after a bit of a surge in May, June and July have been low-frequency post months. Hmmm. Interesting.

Have to be up early to do breakfast for Isa, and watch her open presents. Hurrah! I made her a CD full of songs I thought she'd like. To be fair, my own music taste is by no means fabulous. Just because I went to Glastonbury and have since been listening to Bat for Lashes and Bjork, for example, does not make me a connoisseur. I wish I had the energy to be a connoisseur. It's very hard to be truly indie, to be honest. It takes a lot of effort, and I should imagine a lot of frequenting the right web sites. Anyway, the songs I included on Isa's CD were things like Patience, by Take That, Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield, and 'that song off the Nivea advert' New Days, by Asher Lane, not to mention such MOR classics as Suddenly I See by KT Tunstall (to be fair, I love that song) and Put Your Records On by Corrinne Bailey-Rae. But I think she'll appreciate it, too, that I made an effort for her. I think she needs to get a bit more down with the kids, actually, so I also included some DWTKMOR classics - The Killers, Lily Allen, The Feeling. I shouldn't make fun, I own all those songs...

Feeling a bit sick, probably because I used off milk in my tea (duh). Also not feeling sleepy, as not done enough today (double duh). And got rowing tomorrow (GNUH) and am busy again three nights in a row this week. I don't know why I do it to myself.